I was recently contacted by a young entrepreneur named Michael Dunlop, founder of Retire at 21 for a review of his site and I must admit I was a bit curious to check it out. I was curious because I had already seen so many reviews of this site around the blogosphere so you know Mr. Dunlop is pretty serious about getting the word out about his site.

I nearly didn’t accept the review as I don’t typically do very many of these and I am not sure that my natural disdain for this type of site wouldn’t show through in the review. Let’s take a look and see what we see.

Is it Purple?

If you read my blog then you know that I am positively an advocate for having an attractive site that will encourage readers to check out what you have to say. If you have an ugly site then no matter how good your content is, chances are nobody will stick around long enough to read it.

I think Michael has done a great job of this, he has a very brandable domain name in Retireat21 and it is very easy to remember. The only downside might be that many people will be naturally suspect because it sounds kind of similar to 20kaweekdotcom or 5kaday.biz or any of the number of other get rich quick scheme sites out there.

The intial appearance of the site when you click on it is very good. I like the layout and the color scheme combined with the ample use of pictures and quotations. Take a look for yourself and I am sure you will agree.

Credentials

The first thing I do when perusing a MMO site is check out the About page to see who it is that is giving out the advice. Michael’s page is written in the 3rd person which is a giant pet peeve of mine and I would recommend that he rewrite that to be in his own words.

I think that 3rd person gives the impression that someone is trying to hard to be something they are not. They are trying to sound “corporate” but maybe I am OCD so let me know in the comments what you think, I might need to seek therapy.

I would also like to see more substance on this About page. I read somewhere on the site that Michael wants to make 25 million dollars by the age of 25, which is quite a lofty yet admirable goal. I would have loved to read more about HOW he plans to do it, not just that he does plan to do it.

His about page lists a few websites that he claims to own however none of them appear to have much for traffic or visitors. they range from a niche site on kitchen remodeling to a web development blog.

Another thing that I noticed is that he claims to have been making tens of thousands of pounds at the age of 16 on Ebay. Very impressive but I would be far, far more impressed if he had shown his Ebay id. It’s one thing to say it, another thing to show it.

It would truly lend a LOT more credibility to his claim and might turn a few skeptics into believers. I think that most readers who read about a 16 year old (or any age really) making tens of thousands of dollars via Ebay are naturally going to be skeptical, it would be a slam dunk to be able to prove it.

I know it would have converted me but it wasn’t there.

Top 3 things I would change on the About page is rewrite it in 1st peson, define how he plans to make 25 million and I would back up my Ebay claim to give myself some credibility.

Content

The concept of this site allows a lot of potential and gives Michael a lot of flexibility in what he can write about and the various directions he can take. The best example of good content that I found personally were interviews with some very high profile young entrepreneurs. They are very well written and have a broad appeal and likely will bring a lot of search engine traffic to the site.

The blog content appears to mostly be made up of these interviews combined with your typical MMO blog posts. How to get back links in 10 easy lessons type of stuff and honestly I thought much of it is poorly written and lacking substance. This is not uncommon in the MMO niche but as good as the site looks I expected the same from the content.

My recommendation to Michael would be to put as much effort into his educational posts as he does into the reviews. I found the reviews to be well written but the how to posts to be quite lacking. I noticed that he has multiple contributors so that may be the culprit so I would say either write it himself or hold your contributors to a higher standard.

This type of site will typically draw “the gold digger” type visitor. The ones who want to make money online but don’t know how. They are hungry for information and sometimes even willing to pay for it. Michael’s site has a number of affiliate offers and offers a great potential for monetization assuming he can show some credibility.

You gain credibility from your content and nothing else. Without it, the gold diggers will quickly head for the hills.

Potential

I don’t want anyone thinking I am being overly harsh with this review as that isn’t my intention, I am just being honest. I am impressed with what Michael has accomplished so far and I think this site has a lot of potential. It’s very brandable, has very high potential and could develop into THE site for young entrepreneurs.

If it were my site here is a shortlist of what I would do:

• I would set a clearly defined goal. I want to make my 1st million by Age 22. People love Reality TV and watching an entrepreneur try to achieve a goal like this could be quite compelling.

• I would work very hard to improve the content of the site, especially the blog. This is a perfect communication tool to share what you are doing, how you are doing it, and the direction that you are going to be taking.

• I would recommend that he stop publicizing his site until he has a very solid base of 15-20 pillar content articles. Pillar content should be 500-1000 word articles that clearly show the mission and how he’s getting there. New ideas, different angles, informative articles etc. If necessary then buy the content. It appears he has at least 1 paid contributor now on the blog but the content that he’s buying doesn’t match the look and feel of the site.

• I would definitely rewrite the About page. Readers want to connect with the writer. They want to hear I, Me and My on the about page. It currently reads like a press release and really just makes it look like he’s trying too hard to look successful.

• I would consider partnering with a “big name” blogger or someone who is very successful at MMO and engage them to post some content in the forums. Pillar content, ask the expert kind of thing…something like that.

• Keep the interviews coming, I am sure they are a big hit and lend credibility to the site.

The site is off to a great start and the last thing I would recommend is that he simply stick to it. It appears that some of the other sites listed started strong but then he lost interest and has not finished developing them.

This site has much higher potential than any of the others so no matter how discouraged you might get, stick to the project and you could have a premier site on your hands someday.

As I said earlier I don’t do very many of these so I would like to hear from the readers what you think? Off target? On target? Is my disgust for 3rd person about pages a sign that I might be insane?

Let me hear it.